Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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