Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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