i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize