i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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