i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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