worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
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