NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
