So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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