I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Randomize
