am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
