ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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