White coat. Heels.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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