does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
