Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize
