we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize