based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
