His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
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