i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
