You're completely useless in the revolution.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
