Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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