I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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