I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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