Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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