well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
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U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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