i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
This is the high leading the old right now
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
