i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
