I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I woke up under a house in Key West
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
