that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
