It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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