i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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