she woke up with a sticky ear
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
