is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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