hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
