I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
