Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
