I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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