marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
