Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
