Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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