cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
