I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
You left your phone here
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