Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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