it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
