is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
