So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
