even my farts smell like vagina
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
