im holly from the hills drunk
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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