It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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