I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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