idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
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Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
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Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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