youre lurking in front of me
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
