This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
