the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
