I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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