Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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