Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
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Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
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I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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