Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize