the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Randomize
