I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
this is an emotional support booty call
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
