STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
