If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize